Monday, September 30, 2013

I've Got a Bridge I'd Like to Sell You

I understand that in niche hobbies there's a fringe element that fosters the extremophile. The-one-of-a-kind, oldest, fastest, biggest, crispest sound, sharpest picture, he-who-dies-with-the-most-toys-wins mentality rears its head in all sorts of ways with this lot—and beer is no exception. Such is the way of many fanboys, fanatics, enthusiasts and aficionados.

Okay, $2000 bucks for the beer,
and I'll throw in the bridge.
This past Wednesday, Portland, Oregon's Hair of the Dog Brewery released twelve bottles (all that was made, actually) of its 19-years-in-the-making, 29% ABV Barley-wine, behemoth, named "Dave". The doors opened at the brewery just before noon and all twelve bottles were sold by 4:30 that afternoon. It's a bit gimmicky, but I've said before that I have no problem with gimmicks. Wind gonna blow, birds gonna sing and breweries are going to do whatever they can to sell beer. I can accept that.

As far as gimmicks go, this one isn't too bad, either. Hair of the Dog actually had something interesting going on with Dave. They used an Eisbock approach to jack up the ABV—by partially freezing the brew, and removing the water it concentrates the alcohol content. Then they let it age for nearly two decades. I can get behind that. Sounds better than bull testicle beer—and according to Anita Hamilton's article at's New Feed, someone seems to think it's pretty good, too.

Okay so, that's cool. Did I mention that those twelve, 12.7 ounce bottles of Dave sold for $2000. Each. 






Are those people out of their goddamn mind? Seriously, somebody spent more money on a single beer than I did on my first car. I can't blame Hair of the Dog, either. If they can get a bunch of suckers to drop two large on a bottle of beer, more power to em'. I have a whole bunch of useless shit I'd love to sell for that much money. Stuff way more useful than beer—like a Craftsman table saw from the mid 1970s in my garage. That's old, it's gotta be worth $2000, right? You drink the beer, it's gone. The table saw will give you years of wood-working enjoyment.

Let's really put this into perspective. 

According to, the average 2007 sale price for a human kidney in the Philippines (where it's legal to sell your organs) was $3,000.

Plus, the kidney wouldn't be 19 years old. Hopefully.


  1. I assumed this was a charitable offering given the extra steps added about 1.47$ to the per bottle cost.

  2. Tickers gotta tick.